Many years ago I had a client who, when I entered their home, had all the blinds or shades closed and the living quarters was very dark. They were attempting to escape the responsibility of the pain of loss they were experiencing. They are not alone. Many have attempted to do so by different means. Some have refused to accept the reality before them. I knew someone who lost a loved one and just could not accept the loss, and thus never allowed themselves to heal from their pain. Losing something or someone of value is difficult to accept, but sometimes there is nothing we could have done to bring about a different outcome. As difficult as the loss is, we have to accept it and rebuild our life to a healthy, balanced format. We are increasingly living in an environment, a culture where some are attempting to escape their individual responsibility and expect someone else to assume the responsibility that is rightfully their own. As a grief consoler / counselor it is my responsibility to support, and when necessary counsel the bereaved, not take their pain or fear away, or fix them, or do for them what is their responsibility and ability to do for themselves.
Erich Fromm titled an examination of Nazism and authoritarianism, Escape from Freedom. Galatians chapter six and verse five says, “For each person will (must) carry his own load.” Yes, we are to bear the burden of others in sympathy while not abdicating our own burden. Aesop says a man carries two bags over his shoulder, one with his own burden hanging behind and the other with his neighbor’s in front. The difficulty lies in accepting our own responsibility. Because it is painful, we seek for someone else to carry the pain instead. In so doing we give our power, and our freedom to another. This is Sunrise Aftercare, [email protected].