Many families look forward to the moment their loved ones return from deployment. However, the hard truth is that, after being months apart, both the service member and the family can feel like strangers to one another. To help ease this awkward and sometimes painful process, here are a few tips for reintegration after a service member returns from deployment.
Practice Patience
Being patient with your loved one is easier said than done. After all, you’ve been practicing patience while waiting for that homecoming moment for a long time. But patience doesn’t necessarily mean waiting, in some instances—it means giving some the space to feel frustrated, upset, and alone. Forcing happiness or recovery can cause severe anxiety and self-worth issues and make a situation much worse. While there are many tips and tricks to a successful military relationship, patience may just be your most useful tool.
Lower Expectations
Lowering expectations is another way to mitigate the pressure of being “normal” and allow the transitionary period to happen. While most spouses want the romance and the fireworks to happen after so much time apart, real life often isn’t like that. Sometimes, that first kiss can feel strange, foreign, and even awkward. Allowing, excepting, and accepting that strange feeling can take so much pressure off everyone’s shoulders.
Allow Fun To Blossom
While its common knowledge that engaging in similar hobbies and fun activities is great for every relationship, it is critical for a military spouse returning from deployment. Going to theme parks and museums, playing video games, or attending sports events doesn’t involve responsibilities or deep emotional conversations. These activities allow everyone to turn their brains off and enjoy the presence of one another. There’s time for connection, and there are times for fun. Learning to balance the two is a difficult but fruitful lesson.
Focus on Communication
Clear and consistent communication is a lifesaver. Holding things back, burying feelings under the rug, or expecting someone to psychically know your wants and needs can damage any relationship. When something happens, find the space to talk about it as soon as appropriate to avoid resentment. If you can, make a date night or family night that is light-hearted yet solely focused on telling one another, in a respectful manner, what your needs are. This may just shed some light on how to solve some problems and make everyone feel more comfortable around one another.
These few tips can do wonders for reintegrating returning service members and can help your family become a unit again.
