By David Coy
There seems to be a popular misunderstanding in some groups about denial. I have read more than one writer who placed denial and shock in the same category even using the two terms interchangeably. They are not the same, thus to use them interchangeably is to misunderstand their difference. Denial is the refusal to accept the truth of a statement. As a defense mechanism it is the rejection of facts in circumstances or events in a person’s life. Shock on the other hand is when something causes emotional distress or disturbance. As we see one acknowledges the cause of disturbance because they have emotional distress, and one does not, because that would be denial! This is the sustained refusal to accept the fact or facts concerning an event in one’s life. Most people who have experienced loss have experienced shock. Thankfully, the experience of denial is much more rare.
One question we should be asking is why denial happens. As cognitive dissonance, some suggest that we all have done it. Some things we hear we disregard or substitute for what we want to hear. Perhaps some people hear something so painful they retreat within themselves and it is easier to deny than to face the reality. Here is when it becomes a defense mechanism. There are the usual culprits that are involved that may lead to denial. Stress, irresponsibility, and low self esteem. There is not enough space today to look at each of these. If you know of someone who is in denial with a loss they have experienced, they need to talk to someone outside of their family. If we may be of service please allow us the opportunity. ~David
