The long process you’ve stuck with has finally paid off—your adoption got approved, and your child is on their way to you. How exciting! Chances are you’ve already gone through quite a few stages of panic and worry: Are you going to be a good parent to this child? What do you do if they don’t like you? The questions are endless. If you’re still worrying about these things, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad adoptive parent, and it doesn’t mean you’re ill-prepared. These worries are as normal as daylight.
That said, if you want some more advice on how best to move forward, take a look below. Here you’ll discover some important advice for adoptive parents. From establishing intentional relationships to honing your patience, this advice should help you feel more at ease in your new role. Check it out!
Spend Plenty of Quality Time Together
No matter what age your adopted child is, you have to be intentional about building your relationship with them. It will take work, and it will take time—time is one of the most important components. Get ready to spend a lot of extra quality time with them. To deepen any relationship, you have to spend time with that person, and it’s the same with an adoptive child.
Put the phones away, and engage in some of their interests. If they’re older, they may fight this quality time in the beginning, but don’t give up. They need to know that you’re there for them, no matter their mood swings.
Develop Your Patience Muscle
That’s where patience comes into play. Spending time building a relationship means developing a lot of patience on your end. In general, kids require patience. The more you can develop this muscle, the better. Work on ensuring that you don’t freak out in the first couple of months that your child lives with you. The child you’re adopting has likely waited for years to obtain some semblance of stability. Lean into patience, and lean into the idea that this is different from what they’ve experienced before. It takes a while to warm up to things—understand that, and be as patient as possible with them.
Be Prepared To Change
It’s really easy to get upset that your adoptive child doesn’t change their habits, personality, attitude, or what have you, to conform to what it’s like in your house. That’s where patience comes in, but that’s also where you might need to change as well. Maybe this child needs you to be their mom in a way that’s different than what you’ve learned previously.
Parents tend to go to conferences and reach out to therapists to see how to change our children’s behavior. Instead, maybe we need to learn how to adapt to our children’s needs.
These are just three little bits of important advice for adoptive parents. There’s so much out there; read it, learn it, and grow with it. You won’t be perfect, but you will learn—embrace that!
