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I hope you all won’t mind if I use this week’s column as a kind of extended classified ad, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, it seems that I’m soon to be in the market for a new residential arrangement. To put it more bluntly, I’m getting booted out of my current living situation, kicked out of my cave, or however you want to say it – though, mercifully, I have been given some time to figure it out.

And I’m thinking real hard about moving out of Henry County and relocating back to my native soil in Carroll County.

But it all depends on finding something livable within my somewhat meager means. In other words, I’m looking for something fairly cheap that’s not also a dump. But with the price of just about everything (including rent) going up these days, that may be easier said than done.

Of course, I could go with one of the local apartment complexes or a trailer park or maybe even a house for rent, but I don’t want to limit myself to just those options.

So (getting straight to the point) I’m just throwing out a line to see if there’s anyone out there with a basement apartment or a garage apartment or something like that they’re looking to rent out at an affordable price.

I would definitely want something with my own full bathroom and, preferably, my own kitchen, though I might consider improvising around the kitchen thing.

As far as myself, I’m pretty low maintenance – no pets, no kids, no drama to speak of. I don’t smoke anymore or throw wild parties or get drunk or use illegal drugs or do crazy, noisy things in the middle of the night. I live within my means, do my work, pay my bills, obey the law, and generally try to maintain a responsible, predictable, fairly boring existence.

So, if you’ve got some livable space to rent and you’re looking for some extra monthly income, then I’m a pretty safe bet as far as renters go. And as you all know where I work and what I do for a living, it would not be in my best interest to trash your place and then take off without paying my rent – not that I would do something like that in any case.

Of course, it will depend largely on what’re you’re asking per month – and, while I’m not going to name a precise figure I’m looking for, I’ll just say that if it’s as much or more than most of the regular rental options out there, I’ll probably give it a miss and just go with an apartment. But if you throw in utilities as part of a flat rental rate, I would definitely view that as a positive thing and be willing to pay a little more for that. And, yes, I would be mindful about my use of water and electricity in such a case.

But, anyway, that about covers it – so if you’re interested in having me as a renter, then just shoot me an email with a description and contact information at [email protected].

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